I'm getting really impatient and a little panicky.
I feel like we should be gone by now. It's still before the time I told Becca we'd be leaving, but it's just getting late. And I'm really not wanting to be alone.

I was this way when Papa died- and then Mama. I don't like to be alone when I'm dealing with someone having just died.

I know it's irrational, but I feel like if there isn't someone with me, there's nothing to keep me from getting a call that someone else has died or is sick or is hurt.
I just get worried and start thinking that nobody's ok.

Maybe it's some sort of mother-hen reflex that just wants to spread my wings out and draw anyone close to me under them so that I can be sure that they're safe.

I just want Noah to get here. I need him so much right now- it's almost weird to think of him as another person- I mean, it's weird to think that he's not my husband yet. In 5 1/2 months, he will be and I can actually feel comfortable depending on him. Right now, I'm just trying not to get ahead of myself (haha- not always doing such a great job of that...).

I'm not making coherent sense. I need to slow down and do some of those breathing/relaxation exercises that Aihley and Kristen taught me.

I think I'll try to distract myself with other people's blogs until he gets here.