What does it mean to be full of faith?

I don't quite know where to begin with all of this.

On the one hand, my neat little Christian-response-to-postmodernism worldview is telling me that I need to be proactive and start taking things into my own hands and see if this plan is practically feasible. That would mean hunting down Travis (even more intensely than we have been); finding a place to live; planning details; giving a heads up to people who might need to ask off of work or something; crunching numbers; looking for a job and a myriad of other things.

On the other hand, the striving-to-follow-what-scripture-actually-says-wannabe-early-church mindset that I have is telling me that this is a faith situation. It is telling me that I should pray. That I should trust that God's hand is in this and until our scheduled meetings with Brad, Travis, and Michelle, there isn't anything I can do except live each day and pray. I can think about what things might mean. I can think about the ways things might pan out. I can think about how this will change current plans. But as of this moment, there's nothing I can really do about it.

I don't think that it's laziness that is causing me to be inclined towards the latter strategy. It goes against what my personality would have me do. But it is very much in line with what my faith is telling me to do. I feel like Kierkegaard. I'm standing out over water that is 70,000 fathoms deep hoping that I won't sink because my faith is so strong. But, my question is: if I'm believing that I won't sink, then why is it important how deep the water is? If I am truly trusting in something that is worth trusting in, then it doesn't matter how deep or how shallow- if I don't sink, the object of my faith is of exactly the same strength. It doesn't change a whit. If God is true, then he is powerful. If he is powerful, then he can order things. And he's a lot better at it than I am.

It's been interesting to me to see this week how even the things that I look at (when they have not happened) and think that they would totally ruin everything- that if those things happen, they happen in God's timing. And that timing is something that I cannot understand. Because if this had happened at a different time, there would have been some drastically different outcomes. But because it happened at exactly the time that it did, what could have had all of the effects of a curse has become something that is showering down blessings and forgiveness.

In some big incomprehensible omniscient way, even our sin is crucial within the plan of God for what he has in store for us. And what he has in store for us is good. What he has in store for us is the very best possible thing for us. And there's no way we can foul that up.